Being a remarkable revelation of the great evil found at the heart of our as yet unsuspected national pastime by the true spiritual Out-Of-His-Head Head of the Out of Order Order, Frater Patamath (0=0)
Do you know why there are 11 players in a football team? Or why there are 4 divisions? Have you ever wondered why 'ball lightning' is ball shaped? Careful research by OOO professors has finally uncovered the remarkable truth that links these phenomena. We could reveal everything about the vast conspiracy that has been unfolding since civilised man first appeared on this planet, but we could not take responsibility for the mass hysteria that would undoubtedly follow. Instead we shall point out a few salient facts and leave you to draw whatever conclusions you feel able to make without losing your mind!
In all systems of magic, certain numbers are special. Numbers such as 12, 13, 28 and 60 have all been greatly significant to various cults. They all used numbers to relate different mental constructs with the outside world or each other, at times creating vastly complex unified systems such as qabalah, which gives secret connections between seemingly diverse astrological, planetary, alchemical and numerical attributions.
The 'ground plan' of the Qabalah is a diagram known as the Tree of Life. It features ten emanations from the infinite, called Sephira, which are connected with paths. There are 22 of these paths. Are you beginning to understand now? Remember, there are 11 players in each team and 22 on the field in each match.
11 was a number relegated as cursed, unregenerative, until the sinful black (though actually he was Caucasian) magician Aleister Crowley promoted it as the basis of his rituals. 11 is the number of the false emanation, daath ('knowledge') that leads to the reverse side of the Tree of Life, where sickening and dangerous cosmic hooligans known as 'qliphoth' are active. They are offside energy. Crowley's idea was for the advanced magician to use this energy (or as a footballer would say, 'dribble with the qliphoth'). But anyone who gets in their way pays the 'penalty' of great spiritual and even mental and physical degradation if they let qliphoth get a 'free kick' out of their soul! Their energies are at the heart of the football conspiracy.
The link with the Tree of Life continues - four of the Sephiroth have attributions to the four elements (Earth, Water, Air, Fire). Hence the four 'divisions' of the various psychic energy collectives colloquially known as 'teams'!
But now our attention must turn to the ball. The part which the ball plays in footba11 at first baffled our scientists. But then they found a remarkable revelation from one of Crowley's disciples. Frater Achad, a specialist in qabala, made a startling pronouncement about the future fate of the Tree of Life. He said that the magicians' Aeon of Horus (this is what 'Injury Time' was named after) which began in 1904 had already been superseded nearly 2,000 years early by the next Aeon, the Aeon of Maat (an 'Aeon of Two Halves'). He also stated that the Tree of Life would collapse, folding up into a “perfect sphere - with no grades or paths - a truly concentric system which is for the future to manifest”. This obviously refers to a football. Note too that professional footballs are made from black pentagonal and white hexagonal pieces of leather - Kenneth Grant, a magician who knew Crowley, said that the whole object of magick was the uniting of the 5 ( , black, yin, pentagonal) with the 6 ( , white, yang, hexagonal) - thus making 11!
A football is nature's way of propagating football pitches. The grass on these pitches is kept moist throughout the summer, regularly mown and generally pampered more than wild grass ever is. And any hard drug user will tell you what this results in - perfect conditions for psilocybin ('magic') mushrooms. These psychedelic fungi were once unknown, but are now becoming profligate. Where did they come from? Sirius. Go ahead and laugh if you like, but the OOO scientists have potent, incontrovertible (though secret) proof. We can tell you that they started as ordinary mushrooms until their DNA was weirdly changed. This explains their striking 'liberty cap' shape. The 'keepers' of the mushrooms seek to establish telepathic communication with earth dwellers, but we really can't tell you why. Anybody who imbibes the mushrooms lets the non-physical entities connected with them 'substitute' his consciousness with their strange communications - which so far have seemed a lot like the most absurd nonsense to earth people. But take note of the markings on football pitches - do they not resemble landing pads for alien spacecraft? The proof is unquestionable.
Evidence mounts all the time - we turn to Whitley Strieber's book 'Communion', where he reports his strange 'alien' visitors as knocking loudly on the wall: the knocks are grouped as 3, 3, 3, 2 - thus making a total of 11! Devotees of Aleister Crowley will well know of his perverse 11-based system of magickal knocks, which give it that special CORRUPT and UNBALANCED flavour!!!
Another key point to bear in mind is the 'dark phase' in the footballing calendar: the 11 week summer break in which the teams 'train', after which the magic mushrooms begin to appear on the pitch! The training consists of various actions that through a process of incessant ritualistic repetition bring the players into the necessary state of mind to receive their visitors...
Of course the training weeks are a mere shadow of a greater cycle - that of the 11 year sunspot variations on the surface of the sun. But football teams' activities are a gross parody of the sun's activities - instead they refer to the black sun, from the night side of the Tree of Life. This is a black sphere (i.e. football) which explodes into the 8 directions of void space - or so the chaos magicians of the football world would have us believe.
Look at the strange mental effects noted in football contactees. Symptoms include extreme stupor and drunkenness, contrasting with short periods of intense delusional psychotic activity involving alcohol consumption, chant-like verbalising, atavistic ideation and a deep loss of contact with the outside world. Contactees are also completely unable to remember the match they attended, as if their minds had been mysteriously blanked. Note Wilhelm Reich's observation that sport is used to keep the masses reactionary and docile, and to use up energies that might otherwise be put to better use. You may think that football 'fans' are just hooligans, or the frustrated working class seeking a desperate outlet for the petty aggravations of life, but the forces behind football are clever. They have also created a thriving alternative football culture. Musical groups such as Tackhead and the Barmy Army make football oriented music for disenchanted youth who turn instead to manifestations of the 'underground' culture - which has now been quite thoroughly infiltrated by alien forces. These deranged records even feature tapes of terrace chanting, designed to bring on still more strongly the strange footballistic atmosphere cultivated by the 'magic' mushrooms' progenitors.
But do our liberty-capped friends means good or ill? No doubt Kenneth Grant would point out that the word 'pitch' also has the meaning 'black' (and therefore refers to the destructive goddess Kali), but emanations from the Aeon of Maat are theoretically reversed with respect to out Aeon. So who knows?
And we're not saying.
Nihil Obstat, Imprimaatur
O/O/H/H/H : O-O-O